


study break

by pasupare



Series: Resembool AU [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Resembool AU, Slice of Life, i guess i really have no idea how to tag fics im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 15:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17664809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasupare/pseuds/pasupare
Summary: There was something about the way that Ling smiled at Ed when they were sitting in comfortable silence, or his genuine, unrestrained laughter when others weren’t around that gave Ed something of a high to experience.





	study break

Edward has never been the clingy type. He liked his space, and kept to himself most of the time—with Al and his mom being the few exceptions. Of course, he was always close with Winry, but he usually didn’t go out of his way to hang out with her. It wasn’t even until he was about twelve or thirteen that he actually started to _want_ to be around Winry. Ed had long-established with himself that this was due to the very obvious truth that… he _did_ , in fact, have a crush on her. He would never confess to it _openly_ , but it was true. After years of being a coward and nothing ever transpiring between the two of them, though, Ed eventually fell back into the routine of studying his life away.

That is, of course, until Ling showed up.

It still stood that Ed never went out of his way to hang out with people, but as fate would have it, Ling didn’t _really_ care. For the past couple of months, Ling had been coming over to either his or Winry’s house about every other day, or whenever he was free really. Ed never thought much of it—Ling’s just an extroverted person, right? But lately, he had been accompanying Lan Fan to Winry’s house less and less, and making his way toward the Elric’s house to bother Ed _more_.

Ed would never admit it, but he didn’t really mind. It should go without saying that he likes Ling enough to let him keep coming over almost daily, so he shouldn’t have to say it. To others _or_ to himself.

It was likely due to this lack of personal honesty that Ed didn’t realize how, ever so slowly, the longing he _had_ been feeling for Winry started to shift toward Ling. He didn’t realize that suddenly it was _Ling_ that he had started wanting to be with every waking moment. He didn’t realize that his wandering mind was being filled more and more often with those dark, warm eyes and that brilliant smile.

He didn’t realize any of this, which was why it was a strange sensation for Ed to come to terms with the fact that he felt kind of empty at this very moment. After four days of having Ling around, and then there being no sign of him on the fifth day, Ed recognized that he was feeling _some sort of way_. He wasn’t _lonely_ ; Edward doesn’t get lonely. But maybe he was a little down at the thought that he likely wouldn’t be seeing Ling today. It shouldn’t bother him, though, because up until the past few months, Ed was used to not being around people this often.

It shouldn’t bother him, but it _did_.

Ling’s personality was definitely a mood booster for anybody. Sure, his theatrics could be exhausting, but when it was just Ed and Ling, he didn’t bother with his overt affection or grandiose reactions. Ed had certainly noticed a stark difference in how Ling acted around company, versus when it was just the two of them alone. He was more than a little honored that Ling felt comfortable enough around Ed to just be himself.

That’s not to say, though, that Ling wasn’t naturally a charismatic person. There was something about the way that Ling smiled at Ed when they were sitting in comfortable silence, or his genuine, unrestrained laughter when others weren’t around that gave Ed something of a high to experience. After four consecutive days of being the center of Ling’s attention, Ed actually felt himself _craving_ it now that he was alone.

Ed wanted to see the way Ling’s eyes crinkled when a smile began to spread on his face. His hands ached for the feeling of Ling’s thumb stroking across his palm as he so often did. His mind wouldn’t stop longing for the feeling of Ling running his fingers through his hair, practically massaging his scalp in the process.

As if Ed’s memories surrounding Ling weren’t enough of a distraction, it was Ed’s mind wandering onto what Ling _hasn’t_ done that became increasingly alarming. As much as he wanted to insist that he was fine without the boy, Ed’s thoughts made it painfully obvious that he was, in fact, not fine.

Unable to keep his mind focused on his alchemic notes, rather than a particular Xingese boy, Ed decided to take a walk. Just to get some fresh air. Really.

The day was hot—as goes Summer—and the air more humid than Ed was used to. He could already feel his bangs sticking to his forehead as he made his way out of the house. Ed took a brief moment to thank himself for putting his hair in a ponytail, rather than his usual, stifling braid.

Ed said goodbye to his mom, who was working outside in her garden, before he left. He wasn’t exactly sure, but he figured Al had probably gone into town by now since it was nearing afternoon. Al preferred going to the library than staying cooped up in his room like his brother. To each their own.

The path winded down that tall hill that the Elric house sat on until it connected with the road to the Rockbell’s house. Keeping his focus on his feet while he walked, Ed didn’t even notice Winry jogging down the path to catch up with him, Lan Fan in tow.

“Ed, hey!” Winry called in that kind, upbeat voice as she made her way towards the other blonde, “What’re you doing out of the house?”

“I’m not some recluse, Winry,” Ed snapped without any real disdain, “I’m just going for a walk.”

“Oh, well, we were going into town to meet up with Al. You wanna come?”

“Maybe,” Ed hummed in response, as he took a mental note of how predictable his brother was.

He looked toward Lan Fan who seemed to be scowling a bit at his response. Huh, that’s weird. He wasn’t stupid—he knew Lan Fan wasn’t as friendly with him as she was with Winry or Al, but he didn’t think he had done anything to make her _mad_. Realizing this wasn’t the time to address it, Ed decided he’d ask Winry about it later.

Pushing the thought aside, Ed inquired a bit more sheepishly than he would have liked, “Is, um, Ling with you?”

Ed didn’t notice Winry’s eyebrows knitting in confusion, because he was more caught off guard by Lan Fan blinking her grimace away, as if she didn’t realize she had been making such a face in the first place. That’s a good sign. Probably.

Lan Fan quickly composed herself and replied, “No. He’s home studying, today.”

“Studying?” Ed was more than confused at Lan Fan’s explanation, “For what? It’s the middle of summer.”

Lan Fan frowned, “It’s a long story.”

Ed was about to ask what Lan Fan meant by her vague comment before she continued, “It’s not my place to say, though. You should go see him today; he’d like that.”

“I— What? He’s busy, I shouldn’t be bothering him,” Ed was only more puzzled by Lan Fan’s request.

“If you don’t have time, I understand, but it’d cheer him up to have some company,” a gentle smile rested on Lan Fan’s face, ever so faintly, “He’s the type that would die of loneliness.”

Ed chuckled at the analogy, “Yeah, he _is_ pretty dramatic, isn’t he? Alright, I guess I’ll go check on him, then.” Ed couldn’t help but wonder why Lan Fan wasn’t with Ling herself if that were the case, but he didn’t ask.

Winry, who had been uncharacteristically quiet during the exchange, finally piped up, “Do you want us to get you anything while we’re in town?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks, though.”

Ed said his goodbyes to Winry and Lan Fan as their paths diverged. He wouldn’t be around to hear Lan Fan remark, “I was surprised he even asked about Ling. Usually, Ling is always the one who has to make the effort to spend time with him.”

To which Winry would only hum in response, her mind preoccupied with her own thoughts over the conversation.

—

Rarely has Ed ever been to Ling’s house. Or—that is to say—Fu’s house. The old man wasn’t really the type for company, and Ed certainly understood the sentiment. Besides, Ling was usually the one who wanted to hang out anyway, so they were almost always at Ed’s place. Within the seven months since Ling’s moved into Resembool, this was probably the fourth or fifth time Ed’s been to his place. He felt kind of bad at the realization.

Ed’s sense of guilt didn’t help the rising anxiety in the pit of his stomach either. What was he even so tense about? Maybe he’s worried Ling will be in a bad mood and say he’s too busy for company. Ed wanted to believe that’s where his nerves were coming from, but the apprehension felt all too familiar. Almost like he was scared of being the one to initiate an interaction with Ling, but excited for it all the same. The feeling felt suspiciously similar to the rush in adrenaline he’d often experience in his earlier teen years when going over to the Rockbell’s house.

Taking a few moments to study the framework of the door—definitely _not_ stalling—Ed finally lifted his fist to knock twice. After there was no sign of somebody coming to answer, Ed knocked twice again. It wasn’t until the third round of knocking that Ed started to worry that maybe Lan Fan hadn’t been joking earlier about Ling dying.

But, alas, Ed finally heard shuffling on the other side of the door, before an uncharacteristically annoyed Ling called out, “Hold on a second.” There was a turning of a lock on the door, before it cracked open to expose Ling’s tired face, framed by disheveled hair. The sight was startling, because Ed had never really seen Ling look so rough. That’s not to say he looked _bad_ , because _damn_ was Ling handsome with his hair down like that. Just that it was striking to see him this way. Especially sporting that annoyed scowl. Ed wouldn’t admit the look Ling was giving him sent a chill down his spine

“What do you—” It took a moment for Ling to register who was in front of him, but when he did, his face brightened significantly, “Ed?! What’re you—” Ling cut himself off one more time as he looked down at himself, then back up at Ed. A realization of horror spread on his face before he slammed the door shut again.

“Wha— Dude?!”

“I’m sorry, I look like shit! Just wait a second,” Ling called from the other side of the door.

“It’s just me—you know I don’t care,” Ed called back, trying to reason with Ling.

Quieter than the earlier reply, Ed wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hear the exasperated, “You’re the reason _why_ it matters,” that came from Ling’s end.

Ed waited a few more moments until Ling finally opened the door back up. “Sorry,” Ling drawled again. His hair was pulled back with his bangs combed, contrasting his earlier, unkempt appearance. Ed thought he might’ve changed his shirt too, but couldn’t remember.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to bother for me though. I’m the one who showed up unannounced,” Ed added as he let himself in.

“But I don’t like being ugly,” Ling pouted overdramatically, as if he was attempting to play it off as a joke. Ed didn’t bother voicing his thought that _Ling couldn’t be ugly if he_ tried.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the visit, but why’re you here?”

Ling herded Ed over to the couch as he responded, “Lan Fan told me you were cooped up studying, and that you might want some company. So...” Ed waved his hand around in place of an explanation.

Ling remained standing, staring at Ed for a moment in slight astonishment before he let out a laugh, “That’s unusually kind of you, Ed.”

Ed playfully punched Ling’s arm as he sat himself down next to his friend, “Hey, I’m always kind, asshole.” Waiting until their laughter faded, Ed inquired softly, “So, what’s up? What’re you studying for so much, anyway?”

“Oh, you know... Just taking a day to study on my own so I don’t get left behind when school starts again,” Ling flashed a reassuring smile. “Being taught in Amestrian isn’t as easy for those of us who only know it as a second language.”

That smile, however, didn’t do much to relieve Ed. Ling was prone to hiding serious issues with that same expression.

“That’s such bull, you were speaking Amestrian perfectly fine by the time you moved here,” Ed made it obvious he was suspicious as he called Ling out, “Besides, you made better grades than Winry last semester. And Lan Fan’s not even as fluent as you are, and she doesn’t have any trouble keeping up.”

Ling blinked at Ed in surprise for a moment before he let out a guilty laugh, “Observant as always, aren’t you, Ed?”

Ling took a moment to scratch at the back of his neck, avoiding Ed’s gaze all the while. Typical ‘Ling is trying and failing to hide something from Ed’ reaction.

When he finally gathered his thoughts, Ling let out a sigh and started, “This is something I probably should’ve explained to you awhile ago, actually. It’s just—” Ling rubbed at his forehead, exhaustion seeming to take over his guilt, “I don’t like talking about it and the time never felt right. It’s not even that big of a deal, really. But, in short, it’s because of my dad.”

“Your dad?” The statement felt strange to Ed, seeing as Ling has never once mentioned his father the whole time he’s been here. He’s talked about his mom plenty, as well as some of his siblings—Mei especially—but never brought up his dad. Honestly, he had kind of just assumed Ling’s dad wasn’t in the picture like Ed’s own. Which was probably why Ed never felt the need to ask Ling about his dad, because the subject was a sensitive one for him, as well.

“Yeah. It’s kind of a long story but—” Ling took another moment to contemplate what to say. He eventually placed his hand on his chin in thought as he continued, apathetically, “He owns one of the largest growing corporations in Xing, and that company’s all he really cares about. Really, he couldn’t give a shit about me or my siblings.”

The confession kind of sent Ed reeling because—what the fuck? This is some really heavy shit and integral to Ling’s life… and this is the first time Ed’s hearing about it? His sense of slight hurt at apparently not being trusted enough with this information was quickly overpowered by the growing sense of guilt that’s been nagging at him all afternoon. _You would know if you had asked. You would know if you made more of an effort with him. He knows practically everything about you—_ wants _to know everything about you—and you never even bothered to ask about his dad?_

More than anything, Ed was embarrassed that this was news to him. That he hadn’t known something like this about the person who he now considered one of his best friends. As shitty as he felt, though, he still had no idea what to say. What _do_ you say to that? What did Ling say to Ed when he admitted to hating that bastard, Hohenheim? He probably said something a lot more comforting than the meek “Oh” that Ed let out as his singular reaction.

Fortunately, Ling was too caught up in his own emotions to notice Ed’s incompetence. “He’s been having me learn Amestrian since before I can remember, because he’s wanted me to be more versatile… For his company, of course. So, when Fu decided that he and Lan Fan would be moving here for her automail, I tagged along,” Ling shrugged, as if leaving his home of fifteen years was no biggie. “My dad was obviously against it at first, but when I reasoned that this would help me to eventually start working for his company and take over foreign relations with Amestris, he was on board. Y’know, on the condition that I kept studying my ass off on my own,” Ling was grumbling at this point, as if the memory was enough to put him in a bad mood.

Ling was a heartbreaking sight for Ed. Looking at Ling—always so lively and radiant—who now just seem so defeated honestly pained Ed. He couldn’t stand seeing Ling like that—not the Ling who always made _him_ smile. So, setting aside his own fears and anxieties, Ed reached out to grab Ling’s hand—as Ling would have done for Ed—and carefully chose his words, “But you’re here now. You don’t have to listen to him anymore. You can just stay here. With me— and Al and Winry,” Ed quickly added, “We’re here for you.”

Ling turned to face Ed, eyes warm with fondness, before his smile turned bittersweet. Not bothering to explain just yet, Ling lessened the distance between the two of them to rest his head on Ed’s shoulder. Ed, of course, jumped at the touch at first, but soon relaxed into it as Ling let out a deep breath.

“It’s not that easy. I still have to worry about what would happen to my mom. Besides, I’d miss her,” Ling tightened his grip on Ed’s hand as he paced out his thoughts. This made Ed look over, but he could only see the rise and fall of Ling’s chest. “I miss her, but I want to stay here too. As long as I know she’s safe, I don’t mind being here with you.” Ed took a mental note of how Ling _didn’t_ add the others like Ed had. Huh.

His thoughts were cut short, though, as Ling leaned further into the crook of his neck. Suddenly, he could feel Ling’s breath stream across the skin near his collarbone and Ed couldn’t help but halt his own breathing. Not to mention, Ling’s lips were a lot closer to Ed’s exposed neck and— Okay! Intrusive thoughts coming back again. Ed had to mentally remind himself to, _Focus,_ because, _This is about Ling not you, you asshole._

Ling settled into his new position before continuing grimly, “If my dad doesn’t see enough progress in my studies, he’s going to take me back to Xing with him.”

Well _that_ certainly snapped Ed back to reality.

It took him a moment to fully process the implications of Ling’s words before he started to feel the panic set in. Ling’s dad taking him back to Xing? Ling leaving Resembool? The idea made Ed’s mind run wild with what his life—everybody’s life here—would be like without Ling. He couldn’t imagine seeing Lan Fan walking to school without her best friend. He couldn’t imagine waking up every morning without that ominous tap on his window every now and again. He couldn’t imagine not being able to look forward to that warm, kind smile almost everyday.

More than anything, the idea of Ling leaving just _scared_ Ed. He had lived his whole life without Ling, but now, he didn’t know how to function without him. It would only make sense that Ling would eventually leave Resembool, since he has no family here, but Ed never really thought too much about it because it’s _Ling_. Ling was just a constant in his life at this point, and he didn’t _want_ to think about him leaving.

But now that Ed was being forced to take the idea into consideration, he was also having to come to terms with the fact that, right at this moment, he was feeling very possessive over Ling. A word he never thought he’d use to describe his relationship with his friend—but all the same, Ed quickly realized how very true it was. In a bout of childish greediness, Ed turned toward the Ling on his shoulder, mouth practically in his hair when he choked out, “I don’t want you to leave.”

Ling slowly lifted his weight off of Ed to look him in the eyes. Ling seemed a bit caught off guard at hearing the assertion, so Ed tried his best to hide his fear—his pain. But the news that _Ling might be leaving_ was a little too much for Ed to handle so suddenly, and in all honesty, he kind of felt like crying. And Ed doubted he was doing a good job of hiding _that_ from Ling, because the other boy’s look of astonishment quickly turned to guilt and pity as he carefully unravelled his fingers from Ed’s and lifted both of his hands to cradle Ed’s cheeks.

“No— Ed, I’m not leaving. I won’t let that happen,” Ling massaged at the sides of Ed’s cheeks as he explained, trying to smooth out the concern in his features. “I’m not leaving,” he repeated and Ed just leaned further into Ling’s touch.

Once he got ahold of his own emotions, though, Ed became increasingly aware of how immature he probably seemed at that moment. With his face only growing redder by the second, Ed eventually ducked down, out of Ling’s reach, to hide his face and scrub at his eyes for a moment, “Sorry, that was kind of shitty of me.” Ed shook his mind free of his own anxieties before looking back up at Ling, “I’m sure you miss your mom and siblings a lot, huh? You have a lot of problems you have to deal with; I don’t wanna add to that.”

To Ed’s alarm, Ling let out a loud laugh that he soon muffled with his hand. Ed started to knit his eyebrows together and form a retort before Ling started, “You could never add to my problems, Ed.” Still taken off guard, Ed barely noticed the hand Ling brought up to his face again before he was tucking Ed’s bangs behind his ear. In a softer, more affectionate voice, Ling added, “You’re the exact opposite.”

Quite honestly, Ed’s world was already spinning at hearing how warm and intimate Ling’s voice rang in his ears. So, when Ling entangled the fingers of his right hand with Ed’s again, and moved his left hand to caress the back of Ed’s neck as he leaned forward to rest his forehead on Ed’s own, Ed lost use of any and all brain functions.

Ed’s eyes were wide with shock, and he could feel his face burning. But he didn’t dare pull away, because Ling was so _close_ and his eyes were so warm and his smile so gentle and his cheeks so red— Ed desperately tried to stop his own thought process, but found Ling only made that effort increasingly difficult, even as he opened his mouth to speak again.

“You’re not selfish. If anything, that’s me,” Ling closed his eyes as he started to trace his thumb along the base of Ed’s scalp. The action rewarded Ling with a quiet, sharp inhale from Ed, followed by a shiver running down Ed’s spine that he tried and failed to suppress. Ling didn’t open his eyes, though, as he continued, “And I’m not going anywhere. I could never leave you.”

What’s with this ‘ _you_ ’? Does he mean Ed and Al and Winry? His friends from Resembool? No, he’s very clearly referring just to Ed. But why could he never leave Ed? Why _just_ Ed? Why is it always _just Ed_?

He really had no idea what to make of this situation. And he found that he was wildly afraid of what it might actually be—what the voice in the back of his head has been telling him it’s been for _months_ now. He’s only ever dealt with these kinds of feelings once before, but never like this. Never so _intimately_ that Ed could quite literally feel himself stop breathing, but still couldn’t bring himself to pull away from what so dangerously intimidated him. But now, for the first time in Ed’s life, it was happening—or at least he thought it was. He thought it was, because now Ling was looking at Ed like he was worth the entire _world_ to him, and Ed didn’t really know what else to make with that information. The realization almost floored Ed and he had to use his automail hand to grab onto the front of Ling’s shirt to stabilize himself.

The act allowed Ed to realize that Ling’s heart was racing just as fast as his own; which was a relief, even if ever so slightly. He clenched at the fabric, which only prompted Ling to lean forward even more until his nose brushed against Ed’s. Ling’s breath carried all the warmer across Ed’s lips now, and his body _begged_ for him to lean forward just those couple of inches. Everything but his mind telling him to abandon all reason and just _do it_.

Luckily, though, Ling finally—fucking _finally_ —opened his mouth to speak, voice so soft and barely audible over the sound of Ed’s racing heart, “Edward, can I—”

To Ed’s dismay, the sound of the front door opening cut off Ling’s question before he could finish. Panic shot through Ed’s veins and the last he saw of Ling before pulling away were eyes wide with fear. The two boys were on opposite ends of the couch by the time Fu walked into the living room, “Oh, Edward. Good to see you.”

“Goodtoseeyoutoosir,” Ed stammered, unable to look up at either of the people in the room.

Fu took a moment to eye the two of them before turning toward the hallway, “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

“Okay, Fu,” Ling called a bit frantic, also refusing to look back up at Ed.

The moment had _very much_ been ruined. Any ounce of courage that Ling had supposedly possessed earlier had now dissipated into nothingness—his shoulders slumped and face burning hot as he simply stared at his feet on the ground. Ed was in no place to critique the other boy, though, as he was nowhere near ready to address what the _fuck_ had just happened. If it even was anything. Was he just psyching himself out? No, Ling was definitely flustered too. But if he had actually _wanted_ anything to happen, why was he so timid now? Sure, the air in the room had changed, but he still had the opportunity. Unless, of course, that’s not what he had intended.

Ed’s mind began to play tricks on him as he considered that maybe it really _was_ just a misunderstanding. Maybe Ling was really just trying to comfort Ed—as he always does—and was being touchy-feely—as he always was—and didn’t realize the position he had put himself into until it was too late. The idea, in retrospect, seems far fetched; but in that moment, when Ed’s neck and hand now felt _so cold_ , he couldn’t help but find himself believing those ideas. His paranoia only gained more power over his mind with each passing second that Ling just _sat_ there, refusing to look at Ed. _He must feel ashamed._

Not being able to take the silence anymore, Ed piped up, voice a bit hoarse, “Winry and Lan Fan went into town to meet with Al. Do you wanna go?”

Ling looked up at Ed in surprise, face still warm with color. Then, he turned toward the coffee table in front of them, taking a moment to stare down his books and notes. Ed assumed he was probably thinking that he needed to stay and study. Apparently, though, Ling realized he wouldn’t be able to focus on something so mundane at the moment as he conceded with a shaky breath, “Yeah, that’d be nice. Let’s go.”

Ed couldn’t help but feel relieved that Ling agreed. At the very least, he wasn’t embarrassed to be around Ed after the incident. Once they readied themselves and left Fu’s house, it only took them about ten minutes of walking in silence before they were back to their usual banter. Eventually, they met up with their friends as well, and didn’t speak a word about what had happened earlier in the afternoon. Not then, and not later—even in private. Ed wasn’t about to bring up that situation on his own, and it seemed that Ling was keen on keeping quiet as well. All the more reason for Ed to never talk about it again.

Because he could handle this. He could handle the awkward moments when they were alone—when they both knew they were thinking about the same thing. The moments when Ling was a little more wary of how physically affectionate he was with Ed in private. Ed could handle this. What he couldn’t handle was baring his feelings to Ling, only for the other boy to react in disgust instead of the tender lovingness that Ed _thought_ he had sensed on that day. Ed couldn’t handle losing Ling as a friend over this stupid— whatever it was that Ed was feeling.

So Ed could handle _this_. He can settle with this.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this fic killed me! It was originally supposed to be a sick fic, and then it developed a mind of its own and became a 10k word multichapter fic! I'm obviously not doing that though!!!! Because this part doesn't align well enough with the rest of the story, so this is just another stand-alone glimpse at Resembool AU Edling  
> But just take solace in the fact that I already have most of another fic done that will.. hopefully Establish The Relationship. I might Winfan first though, who knows  
> Anyway, as always, follow me on my FMA twitter @soraakaze


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